Choose A Seat Pattern

Snake Skin

Snake Skin

Put some hiss into your piss with this scaly seat. You can shed a few pounds in peace though – it has been de-fanged for general household use.

  $99.97

Marble Stone

Riveted Metal

No bathroom is quite complete without the clang of metal as the toilet seat is shut. Despite its appearance though, it’s actually quite comfy… and you can hardly feel the rivets when your ass is planted on it.

  $99.97

Dead Hedz

Dead Hedz

These empty eye sockets will out-stare even the most strong-willed visitor to your bathroom, ensuring the coldest of welcomes every time. Nothing says “sit on me” like dead men’s bones.

  $99.97

Marble Stone

Marble Stone

Chill your cheeks with this realistic looking marble stone seat. Appearances can be deceptive though – don’t worry, you won’t need to pre-warm this stately throne.

  $99.97

Rebel Flags

Rebel Flags

Don’t ever conform when you’re on the throne. This intricate pattern of red rebel flags is guaranteed to make a stand that would make even Stonewall Jackson proud while you take a General Longstreet.

  $99.97

Urban Camo

Urban Camo

When you need to drop the Browns off at the Super Bowl, there’s nothing better to sit on than this Urban Camo seat pattern. They’ll never see you coming when you’re going.

  $99.97

Woodland Camo

Woodland Camo

When nature calls, you can answer it in style with this Woodland Camo design – just be careful not to get the leaves wet. Oh… and don’t wipe with the poison ivy.

  $99.97

Barb Wire

Barb Wire

Ouch! The most painful looking design in store, only the bravest butts dare perch themselves on this stylish barbed wire seat. Tetanus shot recommended but not required.

  $99.97

Artistic Skulls

Artistic Skulls

The best way to get some scream in your stream. Watch the souls of the past laugh, wail and moan every time you pull the chain – your trip to the bathroom will have never been so ghastly.

  $99.97

INSTALLATION

All orders will be accompanied by complete installation instructions. Trust us when we tell you that even the most simple-minded hard-ass can do this in a few minutes.

SIZING

We offer standard (rounded) seats for those really short, pain-in-the-ass-to-sit-on toilets, as well as elongated seats, for the most accommodating commodes. If you have any questions about your particular crapper, give us a call and we’ll point you in the right direction.

CUSTOM PATTERNS

Custom Patterns

We have hundreds of patterns to choose from to suit any installation.